Have to go on living
by lostiesgirl
Summary: Claire receives a gift, and a proper goodbye. Second story for 2017 Valentine's story collection.


Hello, guys, gals, and non-binary pals! I hope the day is doing well for you. So, this is the second story from my collection of 2017 Valentine's stories, of course, they're not in the same universe, but they have the same theme, love. And given I haven't written for this show in years, and I wanted to write a little something of the short and bittersweet, and I am gearing up to finish LOST, having this thing on TNT, and it's on season 5, I made this.

* * *

Hugo Reyes stretched his back, his eyes temporarily getting that little moving dark thing, after looking at the sun for longer than a few seconds. It had been a while since he had been in Los Angeles, visiting his parents. But this time, this visit wasn't to see how they were doing. It was for somebody else.

He should probably make the time to visit though. Pay his respects to his grandpa at his tome. He might like the flower necklace this time when he comes back.

* * *

Claire Littleton carried her prize back to her hut. It was a bit lucky one of hers fellow survivors had left it packed, of course, there were about 40 or so survivors, and then the others. Who would need a blow-Up doll?

Now, she needed the doll, but only because, in between her friend, who visits irregularly, and the Others, that, after all those months, took her baby, and her old friends, who disappeared, she didn't really have anyone to talk to. Her friend was there on that day, holding her as the freighter exploded, the rest of her friends vanishing into thin air.

She wondered why she didn't leave with them. Her friend said it was because she was special, that whatever it was left her alone, because she didn't deserve what was waiting for them.

Despite what he said, Claire looked, and waited to see if anyone came back, no one did.

She had tried talking to animals, hoping that maybe one of them would talk back, but she wasn't in a Dr. Doolittle film. She even tried talking to the air, hoping that one of those whispers was actually helpful.

So, of course, she needed to create someone to talk to. At least she could create something that won't abandon her. And better than talking to thin air.

She weighted down her creation with rocks at their feet, smoothing them out with sand from her old beach, moved them off to the tree in order to steady their back, stuffed their stomach with clothes and bedding, and fitted a old airplane pillow for their head. All in all, it took about a week to finish, mostly on the arms. She ended up using rocks and sand for those parts as well.

The blow up doll's face looked like a very short haired blonde with her month in the expression that she was surprised. Claire simply painted a piece of cloth with a smile, and added a bit of stubble, and taped it on the blow up doll's mouth. She frowned at the plastic breasts, she hadn't filled in those, and she decided that she didn't want them on her doll, anyway.

She went back to the camp to find what she was looking for. She stopped at her old sleeping grounds, her eyes zeroing in on Aaron's mobile sleeping thing. She knew the name of it, she knew she had.

She moved the blanket around, and her eyes widen. It was Charlie's ring, with the initials DS on them. She pocketed the ring, and looked around for some suitable clothes. There was a black sweater, in the middle of her bed.

When she returned, she fitted her blow up doll with the black and grey stripes across shirt, then the black hoodie. She debated to herself on putting the ring on his finger, or not. She was trying hard not to talk to herself, since usually, the jungle was filled with birdsong or various other animals moving about.

The whole jungle was silent, save for her own voice. She looked upward, searching for the source for the lack of noise.

The sky rapidly turned grey with each passing second, ending in a sky waiting to drop its supply of water on the island.

Claire pulled her doll from the tree, close to the hut. She worked too hard to let it be ruined by nature. She jumped, as part of the ground began to crack. "Don't you dare!" She shouted. "I don't have anyone else, let me have Charlie!" She stopped suddenly. She looked down at her creation.

Her revelation at making an imitation of the love of her life, was cut short with the ground crumbling under them. She moved away just in time, as the ground gave way, taking her Charlie with it.

"No!" Claire crawled to the edge, and blinked in surprise. A hand was gripping a strong root near the top, belonging to a man wearing a black-grey striped across shirt and a black hoodie.

"Claire!" Charlie sounded panicked, trying in vain to pull himself up.

Claire snapped herself out of her shock and stretched her hand towards him. "I got you, hold on!"

"That's what I'm trying to do, after all these times!"

Claire frowned, using all of her weight to pull him upwards, but to no avail. "What?"

Charlie's fingers started to slip. "Today's the day, I'll tell you then."

"Tell me what?"

His fingers slip away completely, Claire could only watch helplessly as Charlie opened his arms and started to fall, facing her the entire time.

* * *

A bright pale blue eye opened.

Claire Littleton blinked several times, taking in the cool Los Angeles night. It wasn't uncommon for her to sleep at irregular hours. Especially since she doesn't have a job to box her hours in sections.

She turned off the radio at her bedside, something about a fusion of Daft Punk and Kayne West. 2008 music is still a bit getting used to, even with all the months she had to adjust to being in a city. Living mostly on one's own, on an island for three years, doesn't really help in socializing.

Claire Littleton moved the covers of her bed and went to her dresser, with the nice mirror placed in the wood. Her hair had started to go wavy again, after a unrested sleep. She went back to straightening her hair with the curling iron, eager to do something to get her mind off her dream.

"Good evening, sweetheart!" Claire greeted her son, who was sitting at the table, drawing a few pictures with the new crayons box she had bought the other day.

"Mommy, mommy is taking a shower." Aaron said, with a grin on his face. Ever since Claire returned, he had started to call her mommy, which was wonderful. It was. Even when they get funny looks when Aaron called them mommy in public.

During the first two months, adjusting back to modern world, while dealing with the publicity of her return, along with James, was a bit chaotic. At least Kate had the right idea in only involving them, given Frank and Miles were on the freighter that came to the island with the intention of killing everyone, and Richard was an immortal, who was smart enough to have some identification, so he could sneak back into civilization without much scrutiny. Having a couple of hours to themselves lead to quite a few interesting conversations.

Claire had her share of hard questions, especially given she was supposedly dead as soon as the plane crash, but her, Claire and James had talked ahead of time, and managed to cobble together a story about them floating to another island with a few supplies. Then the questions if she and James were involved, and her getting used to living on American soil.

She had decided to stay in Los Angeles, with an old friend of hers, No, she and James weren't involved, they consider each other as family thought.

She layed low after that, only staying near Kate's block, not that much time those two months, Kate had found out about her pregnancy. Claire had helped the best she could, then came the time when her best friend had to give birth. James and Miles were there, but she fought with her words to be allowed inside. To be there for Kate like when Kate was there for her birth.

She looked at little David, still in his cradle, more than a month old. At least now she had another chance in raising a baby, even if it's wasn't her own, he was her half nephew.

There was a knock at the door.

Puzzled at the time of the knock, Claire walked to the double doors of the opened the doors, still dressed in her jimjams, and looked at Hurley. She smiled at her old friend. "Hi, Hurley!"

"Hey, Claire." He glanced off to his side, and smiled in that direction. "I hope you're not too busy tonight."

"Nah, I was just going help with David, you know. it's day by day. Learning as I go. So, where's your number two?" Claire looked around to see Benjamin Linus sitting in a car off to the side of the road. She gave him a small wave. He waved back, smiling. At one point in her life, she disliked the man. Now, given everything she had done in the name of finding her son, and the things he had done to repent, she couldn't really say she enjoyed his company when he appears, but she doesn't mind it as much.

"Listen, it's getting close to midnight, and I need to time it just right."

"What do you mean?"

"Have you had any dreams lately?"

* * *

After a bit more conversation instead of just leaving it at such a dramatic question, Claire Littleton looked around the relatively quietness of the park, surrounded by trees not too dissimilar to the Island. She shiver slightly against the early November air, having neglected to wear a jumper, only wearing her baby blue vest, a pair of nice trousers she bought at a yard sale, and some converse. She looked back to the man who had brought her here.

"Exactly midnight?"

"It's a bit cliche, but he said he wanted to time it."

Claire dithered around, waiting for Charlie. It wasn't that she didn't believe Hurley, but that dream of her spooked her more than she cared to admit.

"Claire," Hurley walked over to her, placing his hand on her shoulder. "I can only show you him for a small amount of time."

"Why?"

"Before going back to the Island, I voluntarily committed myself because I keep seeing dead people from the Island. And I stayed there for two years. I'm doing okay now, because I understand them. I don't really think seeing dead people at certain times is good for everyone though."

Claire nodded in agreement. She didn't need to see the ghost of the people she had killed.

Another hand gingerly touched her other shoulder. She glanced at the thinner hand, smiling softly.

"Claire." Charlie whispered.

She turned around, feeling Hurley's hand leaving her, facing the love of her life. "It's you!" She grazed the light stubble, relishing the touch. "But, how does that work?"

"Don't trust tv shows, they tend to exaggerate almost everything." Charlie's eyes twinkle in the moonlight.

She pulled him in for a hug, feeling... Feeling no warmth from his body.

"Like body heat." Claire pulled away from Charlie, just enough to see him eye to eye.

"I'm not strictly, alive alive. I'm just whole."

She kept her arms around his neck. "I saw you. In my dreams."

"Going through Pygmalion, I know Claire. I was there. I tried to talk to you, but every time I tried, you wake up."

"You're here now, Charlie. Tell me."

Charlie glanced at his old friend. Hugo pulled out a ring from his pocket and tossed it over to him. "Good thing I'm solid, mate, or that would've gone right through me!" He opened his palm and showed Claire the DS ring. "I knew I was dying ahead of time, and I wanted for you to find it. Then you never went back, and when you did, you never found it."

"But, Charlie, that's a family heirloom."

"And you and Aaron are family to me. And this," He placed the ring in Claire's open hand. "Was meant for old Turniphead."

"Charlie..."

"I also made a list, that I was hoping would return to you safe and dry, but Des had to dive in the bloody water for me, and the list along with it."

"What sort of list?"

"Five of my greatest hits. You were number one on it. More specifically, I wrote down the night I met you."

"You gave me your blanket."

"And that we be rescued. And we did, didn't we? Not exactly in the way we expected, but here we are."

Claire cupped his cold cheek. "Will I ever see you again?"

"We have plenty of time now." He rested his hand over hers. "But I don't know."

"I've..." Claire looked away for a moment, frowning as she decided on what to say. "I killed people, Charlie, because I thought they took him. I made traps, all to find my son who wasn't even on the island. Who I left abandoned while I left with a man who looked like my dead father! I almost killed Kate!" Claire pulled her hand away and rubbed violently at the tears that were attempting to fall.

"That'll stay with you, their death." Claire looked up at Charlie. "But you're not alone in this, there's Kate, and Hurley, even Sawyer! Don't let it eat away at you."

"It's been months, I don't think that'll ever go away."

"Life is called life for a reason. There's a bundle of joy in your house and you're related to him! "

Claire sadly smiled at Charlie. "Life is just this; it's living?"

His eyes widen in recognition, remembering that musical episode of Buffy. "You have to go on living. So that one of us is living."

Claire moved closer, just enough so that they can talk comfortably, but, it just so happened the perfect amount of space that a stray lip could brushed up against each other. "I love you."

Charlie grinned at her words. "I love you too."

Claire Littleton tilted her head sideways and tentatively pressed her lips to his. She felt his lips warm up. She closed her eyes, remembering the last time they kissed like this.

Charlie pulled away from her so suddenly, Claire wobbled to try and keep herself upright. Charlie was gone.

She looked down at the ring in her hand, resolving herself to give it to Aaron when he was old enough.

She held it together as she went back to Hurley and Ben, being driven back to her home. She entered her house to see Kate finishing nursing the baby. Kate wrapped her arms around her, while Claire cried into her arms.

When Claire met Charlie again, after having been awakened, she asked why Charlie disappeared so suddenly.

"When I was walking the earth, I wasn't at peace." He had his eye on baby Aaron, who seemed memorized by his pinkie. "All those years, I've tried to talk you. I've even managed to enter your dreams once or twice. But, when Hurley became the leader, I knew he could finally help me find peace."

Claire cupped his cheek. "It's been entirely too long since I've seen you. And I have loads to tell you what I've been up to for those last decades."

* * *

Funny story, I have this notebook with fanfic ideas from 2013, the same year I decided to start the whole Valentine's story collection thing. I orginally wanted towrite this story then, but I didn't have fresh episodes in my head. So here we are.

Leave a review, if you can. It doesn't have to be wordy, but I like to hear from the people who liked it.


End file.
